Thursday, April 14, 2011

$#*! my Elongated Man says!

Over years of publication history, Ralph has said some cool or funny stuff; so, I decided to keep track of them in this post.

Ralph's first words, from the cover of Flash #112 (not particularly notorious, but the first, nonetheless):
"Flash thinks he's about to capture me -- but by stretching out my body -- can capture him!"

One of my favorite dialogues is from Justice League Unlimited episode "The Greatest Story Never Told".
Booster Gold: Is there a chance you could stop complaining for five minutes?
Elongated Man: Hey, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, my friend. But I'll tell you one thing: I wouldn't help those ingrates now if they begged me...
Wonder Woman: We need you.
Booster Gold: It's about time.
Wonder Woman: Not you. Him.
Elongated Man: Squeaky wheel.
Skeets: Maybe they needed a vase.
Detective Comics #430
When Batman shows up, crooks quake! When I show up, they panic!
 Realworlds JLA:

Girl playing Wonder Woman: Why do you [Superman] put up with him?
Kid playing Elongated Man (proudly): Because I provide lighthearted comic relief.
 From Identity Crisis #1:
“But that’s why ice cream stores don’t just sell chocolate and vanilla. Every once in awhile, someone walks in and orders butter pecan.   
She’s met everyone. Batman, Flash, Arthur, Hal – she’s seen Hawkman with the hairy chest thing going.  C’mon, she’s looked directly into Superman’s melt-your heart baby blues–”   
And she STILL chose me”

Formerly Known as the Justice League #2:
L-Ron: Humans a species can stretch.
Elongated Man: Of course not. It just so happens that I drink from an elixir made from the essence of a rare tropical fruit and -- That sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?
L-Ron: Only if one thinks about it, sir.

Formerly Known as the Justice League #6:

Sue: [...] Well, I've got a newsflash for you, Batman! Muscleheads in funny costumes are a dime a dozen! We don' need your help!
Batman:   Living with Ralph is really getting to you, isn't it?
 Sue: Ralph! Batman just insulted you!
Elongated Man: I'll add him to the list!
Plastic Man: So, you're telling me you've never once turned into a fire hydrant?
Elongated Man: A fire Hydrant? With G'nort around?!
Plastic Man: Well, then, how about a car or a lawn chair or—
Elongated Man: Having a litle identity crisis, are we? I know this fantastic therapist on the Upper West Side who—

Flash: Mary Marvel?! He got beaten up by a girl?! BWAH, HA, HAAAA!
Elongated Man: What did you just say?
Flash: Uh-- "Bwah-ha-ha?
Elongated Man: How woefully passe.

Formerly Known as the Justice League #1:
Y'know, at some point I was so desperate, I came close to joining the new Doom Patrol!

$#*! my Susan says!

Formerly Known as the Justice League #1:

Sue: After he forum this site, I didn’t see him for a month.
Maxwell Lord: A mixed blessing, I assume.
Sue: I love him. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
$#*! people say about the Elongated Man!

I've noticed that these words from Ralph's first solo adventure (Detective Comics #327) have captured the attention of some hardcore Elongated Man fans. It's not surprising, they are kinda catchy:
Some crook: An ear -- In the fireplace!
They should use them in the next animated adaptation of Ralph!

Brad Meltzer on Elongated Man (courtesy of Wizard Magazine):  
"So underestimated, it's not even funny.  I'll go on record and say it:  I do not think Plastic Man should have ever been in the Justice League [...] people think [that] they're interchangeable, but they're not.  Ralph [Dibny] isn't this comedic character—he's a detective second only to Batman.  And he and [wife] Sue make on of the best teams since Batman and Robin pulled out their magnifying glasses."

I'll keep adding more quotes as I find them. If you find some material that should be included, please mention it on the comments section of this post (you'll be properly credited).

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