New Elongated Articles

Hi, everyone,

I've been really busy with work and life in general, and it seems that the situation is going to stay like that for a long while. Luckily, other bloggers have not forgotten about Ralph and Sue.

WTF, DC? Elongated Man/Digital Comics

Whoever writes WTF, DC?  decided to do a nice recap of the Dibny tragedies and their current status. A pretty neat job; the auhor nailed all the highlights and reminded us that DC still owes us an explanation: Why?

Why indeed.

Perhaps that was intended as a saga that never materialized. Perhaps TPTW were not Dibny fans. We're unlikely to get to know now.

I agree that Identity Crisis put the Dibnys on the map. And that was front and center in a way that I don't think they have ever been. Barry went with a bang on Crisis on Infinite Earths, Hal did the same on Zero Hour and somehow, the JLI's comic relief got his moment as well. After that, Blue Beetle II, and Booster Gold followed. However, despite the peak moments of fame that those stories provided for their protagonists, they normally don't sit well with their fans, which is why Barry and Hal eventually returned and why people like the author of WTF, DC? still expect the return of Ralph, Sue and Ted in the New 52.

If I had to do some constructive criticism on the article, I'd say it needs to go back a bit more, before JLI, when Ralph became mostly comic relief. His past as supporting cast of Flash, mystery solver and the idea guy of the JLA (mostly after Batman left) could have been mentioned.

DC Couples

Here's an interesting pick of four of the most iconic and solid DC couples.

As far as I can track it's origin, the original poster of this image seems to be Mecha Rebekah, from Tumblr. Maybe she drew it too.

A bio thingy

Frank Diabolu just sent me this. He received it from Shag. Further than that, which is not much, I have no idea of its origins. Enjoy it, anyway.

25  characters still missing from the New 52

And finally, here's a list of characters that still need to return in the new DC continuity. After even Year One has gone out the window, the common opinion seems to be that the new Ralph and Sue should just pop up with a somewhat clean story. I insist, detective fiction sells greatly on TV and books, so, it should do fine in comics (more so now that DC has no couples).

Know your Super Buddy

Continuing with the profiling here are the members of the Justice League International. Giffen and DeMatteis did an excellent job demonstrating the uniqueness of their personalities, still, it's always fun to review them. Tell me what you think about them.

Maxwell Lord: The true Maxwell is an opportunistic sleazeball with a great heart. He would manipulate and push so that his will is done; fortunately, he always has the greater good and the best interest of his friends in mind.  He sounds like a used car salesman, the difference is that he always delivers what he promises. He's the incarnation of the "Like a boss" meme; he works hard and he lives hard, always surounded by luxury. He's all charm, and yet, unlike the stereotypical sanguinean type, he gets the job done without disappointments. He has a thing for power and control, but his main reasons are his egocentrism and certain paternalist feelings he has towards the JLI. As the boss, he's always has his eyes on the ball and knows how to take charge without engaging (at least when it matters).

The Martian Manhunter: The leader of the oddest incarnation of the JLI also serves as its father figure; while he seems to have a peer relationship with Batman and Maxwell, he thinks of the rest as "the children".  He knows human nature better than humans so he’s very accepting and avoids engaging in nonsense and even most of the social situations of the team. His attitude and personality often places him as the straight man among the shenanigans of his team. As a leader he's calm, insightful and patient and knows exactly what to say to lead this weird wild crowd, always with his eyes on the ball.  

Blue Beetle: Ted is creative, optimistic, enthusiastic, adventurous, witty and a bit juvenile. He has a great, easy going temper, which is why he's normally in great mood. His friends would say that he's hyperactive and often too smart for his own good. He took the Blue Beetle mantle from his teacher, but the truth is that he's a superhero out of his optimism and sense of adventure. Like Ralph, he's a true example of emotional intelligence.

Fire: Bea is loud, fiery, flirty, fun loving and very hot tempered (a lot like Sofia Vergara or Eva Longoria). She's very street wise, has a quick wit, which helps her charm her way to get what she wants; however, she has no trouble calling things by their name.

In some stories, she has a Bart-Simpsonesque, devil-may-care attitude. She's a nudist who has worked in showbiz for men, yet she showed a smart taste in men (liking Oberon, hating Guy) and was quite protective of Ice's love life. Her deal in that sense seems to be that she uses her sensuality and charisma to get stuff but is very careful when it comes to feelings. Despite her hedonistic exterior she shows good, caring values when it comes to people. This is more evident with good kind people, like Ted, Ice, Mary or the Dibnys. By contrast she's tough on jerks (even if they are still her friends) and really tough on villains.

Booster Gold: He's basically a phony superhero that is perpetually redeeming himself. For some reason, his goals as a superhero are fame and fortune. He's shallow, shameless and often desperate; however, he always pulls through. He's not much of a thinker, which makes him the perfect bottom of the jokes (making him the perfect odd couple for Blue Beetle); however he has his heart in the right place and has an amazing deal of determination, which are the reasons that qualify him as a member.

Ice: She's sweet and caring; her borderline naive innocence contrasts with Bea's sharp eye. She's utterly honest, transparent and, despite certain shyness, she always shows her true emotions. However, she's not a bad judge of character as much as she prefers not to judge, often seeing the goodness behind rough exteriors like Guy's or even Bea's. Her sense of fun is very child-like and playful, which makes her able to enjoy the simple things in life.

Ralph: In JLI he became less of a Nick Charles superhero and more of a funny, paternalistic uncle; going to extremes he never went to get people to laugh. His behavior is more sanguine than ever, as if he decided to take the back seat and relax in this team. His usual wit is still there, but he starts relying on slapstick for humor. At the end of the day people always listen to him and Wally even seeks his approbation. And it figures, hiding behind a class clown surface he's indirectly mentoring and encouraging the new Flash, Power Girl, Mary Marvel and even his wife, who became a member of the team as well. Despite being acknowledged as the most experienced member of the European branch, he prefers being a good team member to being the leader, so he always respected Captain Atom's position as the leader.

Sue: She's the proof that sometimes spoiling works. Despite having everything and being able to get whatever she whims, she cares a lot about people. That's called vision of abundance. Her mood is usually great, she is very plucky, extroverted, chatty, witty and easy going; however, at times she can be high maintenance or show quite a temper, if the situation justifies it. Like Ralph, she is only able to see opportunities and she makes things happen with even less effort. She's a natural problem solver and her main weapons are charisma, charm a quick wit and tons of confidence. As much as she trusts and admires her husband as a superhero, she usually fears for him and the rest of the team when they are on the field, which is the reason she likes to get involved. Before JLI she used to me mostly a carefree, spoiled wife on an eternal honeymoon adventure, but then, a permanent duty as monitor led her to become a technology wiz dedicated to her new team and family, which she eventually lead as bureau chief.

Guy: Arrogant, overly confident, chauvinistic, short tempered, annoying, obtuse and immature: the embodiment of the American spirit gone wrong. He is only a hero because he believes in saving the day, and he's too stubborn not to get things done. He's too much of an action man to think things through. His m. o. seems to be all about bullying the bullies; the problem is that he normally a dick to the good guys, even if he's ultimately harmless and always gets losing. Ice is the only person that gets him to rethink his ways.

L-Ron: Despite being more intelligent than his bosses, he was created to be a servant, so he uses tongue-in-cheek, over-the-top flattery (and often just sarcasm) as a form release. L-Ron seems to be doomed to be an eternal witness to really bad ideas that he can’t prevent from being executed, in fact he normally has to help making them happen. However, little by little, he has moved to a position in which he can contribute to better causes. He will always be a servant, but he'll at least try to serve where it counts.  

Power Girl: Kara’s super strength is not only physical but emotional. She’s confident, emotionally independent and very outspoken; however, her temper is short and might lose sight of what’s important in order to make a stand. Even though his views are always fair, she engages easily  and she can be quite opinionated, which put her at odds with the likes of Guy. She has little tolerance for shenanigans as well, especially when it comes to men objectifying her because of her notorious sex appeal  –she doesn’t flirt or dress for men, but she also refuses to hide her beauty. She’s normally cranky, but she can be quite generous and kind. When it comes to her work, PG has a great determination that makes her diligent, quick and effective.

Rocket Red: Dmitri is a big jolly man, optimistic and enthusiastic about everything. The type of person that rarely has anything negative to say. Always with a smile on his face, he enjoys about everything, and is loudly outspoken about it. He sees enough of everything for everyone, which is why he has a very generous philosophy and nature. When it comes to serious matters he’s very insightful and truly helpful to his friends. He has a very balanced life and has a loving family waiting for him after work.

Crimson Fox: We’re talking about two women, but in general, their behavior seems the same. They like to remain a mystery to their teammates, so they are barely socialize and come across as “a” cold peer. They inform themselves about any situation and become all business right away; pretty much like Batman, only without barking orders. This is how they manage to hide the fact that they are two people sharing the same superhero identity. Like Batman, they seem too self-aware and even melancholic, but their determination and dedication to an agenda against injustice makes them overachieving perfectionist forces.

Catherine Cobert: A diligent and independent career woman capable of great achievements. She’s such a straight man, she doesn’t even engage with the nonsense of her team. Even though she is really dedicated and hardworking, with her calm attitude and big picture sight she makes it seem as if her great achievements came with little effort. Her great perception and sensibility allows her to be as persuasive as Maxwell (which is probably why she e eventually wet from being his great discovery to his boss). It’s also clear that she’s very confident, and it also shows when she flits. While it’s clear that she liked Captain Atom from day one (and that it was mutual), she rather worked on him with friendship and teases without spoiling the tension.

Batman: A consumed pro with no time for nonsense. His perfectionism feels sharper than ever and he has a heaver reliance on fear as a weapon. He's playing on a really advanced level that few in the JLI can follow and only J'Onn does. It would appear as if his respect only went to his equals (J'Onn, Ralph, Fate, Canary) but he actually believes in all of them, so he serves as an outsider who  always knows what to do and what to say (his mind seems to go at light speed), so he arrives late, barks instructions and out he goes. He barely takes a few seconds to correct Guy's attitude problem. Tough love. His field instructions have a surgeon’s precision; however, after renouncing the leadership he decided to respect the authority of the new field commanders. And yet, the team can't help but feel as if he was the one pulling the strings (and he might be).

Other notorious members

Some members didn't really stayed that long but sitll became characteristic members of the Bwahaha era anyway.

Beefeater: Is a conceited, arrogant, phony, obnoxious, rude, inconsiderate, stubborn, pretentious and absolutely sarcastic jerk. He can’t help but show a neurotic behavior whenever he interacts; normally characterized by his excessive complaining and attention to unimportant details. His constant engaging prevents him from inspiring any real authority despite his confidence; people rather please him in hopes to get him to shot up or go away. I know, I’m basically describing Basil, but it’s the same, anyway.

Coming soon within this post: Captain Atom, Oberon, Mr. Miracle, Flash, Metamorpho, G'Nort,  and Animal Man.

For more character profiles, check out the following articles:

Know your Justice Leaguer!
Understand the personality of the early
members of the World's mightiest team.

Know your Bat-Villain! Part I - 
Probably the craziest supervillains in 
American comics, so it is a longer read.

Justice League International: The Movie

Justice League International by Daniel Morpheus.

Brazilian Deviantartist, Daniel "Morpheus", created this Justice League International picture to see what a movie with his ideal cast would look like. Here is his pitch:

"This is a poster that I've made with my cast for a Justice League International Movie.

The cast is:

     Damien Lewis as Elongated Man
     Zooey Deschanel as Sue Dibny
     Zachary Levi as Blue Beetle
     Tom Cruise as Maxwell Lord
     Garrett Hedlund as Booster Gold
     Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Fire
     James Caviezel as Captain Atom
     Hannah Sperritt as Ice

To direct the movie no one better than Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead). I always imagine this movie as a British comedy, with the perfect balance between comedy, drama and action.

I think the cast couldn't be better (how about that Mary Elizabeth Winstead?!! huminahuminahubba!!). I'm really sold on this idea. Very few actreses are charismatic and cute enough to play Sue, but only Zooey has what it takes. Lewis, on the other hand, has an odd face for Ralph, who should rather look like a young Dick van Dike; however, he has the built, the red hair and he can really pull clever. Winstead definitively has the body type (tall, curvy, great shoulders), but I'm not sure she can play a sassy, loud and spicy girl from Brazil. Tom Cruise as Maxwell Lord takes the prize. It's just brilliant; between his "show me the money" and this, Max definitively falls between Cruise's range.

I love how the picture integrates the most memorable members and elevates them as pop cult icons portrayed by contemporary celebrities. I just love that colorful reticule. Not to mention the impressive portrayals and their rendering.

That is a movie I'd like to see. I can even imagine the plot: The entire JLA but the Elongated Man gets lost in a battle against Despero and, after months of absence, Maxwell Lord recruits him for the new JLI, a project in which nobody has faith. Despite their limited competence, after accidentally saving Paris from a Bialyan attack (after the French had a misunderstanding with the Gadaffi-esque Rumaan Harjavti) little by little they gain the public trust. After gaining other battles (which will serve as opportunities for cameos by the Injustice League, Manga Khan, Starro and Mr. Nebula) and, with them, more popularity, they run into an a surviving Batman and the Martian Manhunter, who assign them a mission to rescue the rest of the real League. They accomplish their mission, but end up about to be blasted by Despero. However, the real JLA pulls a last minute deux ex machina. Finally, both leagues are restored, with Batman and the Martian as liaisons. How about that?

Anyway, there's more art where that came from. Daniel is a very gifted artist and is blessing us with a lot of samples of his art at his Deviantart page.

Enjoy!

Busterella strikes again!: Pokemon JLI

I found new fan art form favorite of this blog, Busterella, whose Dibny portraits always catch perfectly the true spirit of the couple. It's called "Superbuddies-Pokemon Rangers", check it out:

Top to bottom and left to right: Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, Sue and Ralph Dibny, Fire & Ice, Guy Gardner and Maxwell Lord. 

It's the second pic I see from a Deviant artist combining elements of JLI / Super Buddies with Pokemon Rangers (which, I suppose, is a later incarnation of the Pokemon thing). However, there's no actual connection between the the two of them and I'm still trying to find out why is this a thing. According to Busterella, Pokemon crossovers with anything are common. She describes is as "Silly scribble-y crossover tomfoolery".

The other one is even more eclectic, it throws Aladdin and a character from Batman: The Brave and the Bold into the mix (what, no fire?).

Ice, the Dibnys, Guy and Captain America, Flash and his wife, Linda Parker, Aladdin and Jasmine, and the Music Meister.
Art by Clazziquai. 

And this is just the tip of the iceberg, Busterella has impressive pics done with digital media. She's crazy-talented when it comes to coloring (you hear that, DC?). For more of her fantastic art, go to her Deviantart profile: http://busterella.deviantart.com/ . She's a talent to watch!

Mystery of the unidentified Dibny pics (help needed!)

Here are a couple of really great images that I can't track, so any comment with the answer or a tip is appreciated. I've tried everything, but I can't identify their author and origin.

This first one feels like an ID picture. It has his early 80s look, but the coloring looks like something done after 1995. His hairstyle is similar to those of characters drawn by José Luis García López or George Pérez.

This second one is really, really cool. I'm going to be using it a lot. It has the word 'detective' written all over it. It looks modern, I suspect it comes from his appearance in Booster Gold.

Update:

Got it! I got the second one. It's Jurgens. Booster Gold #16, page 4, panel 6. I kinda remembered the way the sky looked. The funny thing is that it's a great portrait, one of the greatest, but it's surrounded by so-so art by the same artist. He's also not making such a serious analysis as it would seem. He's only thinking about trusting Booster's sister.

Here's another good one from the next page:

Now I'm only missing the info of the irst pic.

Top 10 grounded DC characters.

Art by yours truly, Rafa Rivas.

For certain characters, who never had notoriety of any sort, its completely normal to get dry spells of publication. Nobody expects the likes of Angel and the Ape, Anthro, Prez or Detective Chimp to get their own regular series. However, since the 70s, every decade has a different set of previously prominent DC Comics character hidden under the rug. As if TPTB were ashamed of those properties. The Martian Manhunter, Firestorm, Zatanna, Red Tornado, Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, Adam Strange and even Aquaman have all been through that.

The first clear example would have to be J'onn J'onzz, the Martian Manhunter. When the Justice League of America was founded, outside the "super trinity" (Batman, Superman and Wonder), he was about as famous as any of the rest. Really. In fact, the weakest link was Green Lantern, who debuted some months before the team was created. After the debut of the JLA, all its members were editorially pushed with their own titles; the Martian moved from Detective Comics, where he was out-shined by Batman, to House of Mystery, where he became the lead. The Elongated Man replaced him in Detective Comics. However, that all faded by the late 60s; he was first taken out of House of Mystery, and then, he was written off the Justice League. By the 70s, he was known as the green bald dude who was somehow a funding member of the JLA. After over a decade of cameos, the Justice League title provided the best justification for his return: it needed full-time members, who wouldn't have adventures outside the book. Lacking options to make the team feel like the real JLA, writer Gerry Conway decided to bring the green dude back, and for similar reasons, the next creative team kept him as leader of the Justice League International. DC revamped the League once more in the mid 90s and, this time, the angle was going for the original founding members (or their available equivalents). Consequently, after all that, despite his long absence around the 70s, the Martian became known as "the heart and soul of the JLA". That's a happy ending, let's see how it continues now that he has been retroactively erased from the origins of the Justice League and shoehorned into a team called "Stormwatch".

Zatanna, for instance, was a steady member of the JLA after the late 70s. Like the Martian Manhunter and the Elongated Man, she stayed with the League during it's "Detroit era". However, once it was over, she went back to scarce cameos. The controversial and successful Identity Crisis limited series brought her back to the spotlight, she has a miniseries, joined the League for a while, appeared in Detective Comics, and got her own title. Now, she's with something called "Justice League Dark".

Firestorm popped up in '78 with a mini series, then, fully boosted by his creator (Gerry Conway), returned in 1980 to join the Justice League and get his backup feature in Flash. In 1982, he graduated from the backup to get his own title. Then, they got the popular characters out of the JLA title, they did some really weird stuff with him in his book, yadda, yadda, yadda, he didn't appear through the 90s. When I started reading comics, I often wondered whatever happened to the guy from Super Friends with fire instead of hair. He returned, but they keep doing odd things with the character.

Along with the Elongated Man, half the characters who were part of the Justice League International, were notoriously absent from 1996 to 2004. They revamped them as the "Super Buddies" in a couple of limited series that were critically acclaimed and sold very well. However, after the first series, for some reason, one by one, each of those characters was killed off (Sue Dibny, Blue Beetle, Rocket Red, the Elongated Man), horribly derailed (Maxwell Lord, Captain Atom, Mary Marvel) or went through hell because of that (Booster Gold, Fire).

Their absence is normally a bit more notorious once they return; however, I believe I can identify the missing people of this era. My criteria is how recurring they were in the past, compared to what they get now:

10. Zauriel and Aztek

Shooting stars like Ragman or Blue Devil, they were never really regulars of anything. However, their absense is odd, considering that their creator, one Grant Morrison, is one of the most influential forces of the current DC Comics authors. He tends to leave a trace of brilliantly conceived bastard children behind him.
9. The classic Teen Titans

Not really an endangered species, since we get to see them all around; however, they do lack a regular series. During the 70s, writers avoided using or creating sidekicks (children fighting crime are a dumb idea, anyway), so they kept them in the Teen Titans team (a team of teenagers with no adult supervision... sounds better, doesn't it?). In 1980, DC aged them, added new characters and it became a hit. Sidekick problem solved, right? Well, not really. They kept aging and, during the 90s, DC created a new wave of sidekicks... which eventually needed a team, and since the Teen Titans were no longer teenagers, they got the name as well. Now the original titans are too old to stay in the team and not popular enough to substitute their mentors. Some became part of the Justice League, but that didn't sit well with the title's fans at all. Without a team, most of these characters are doomed to be title-less, which puts them at risk of fading away.

8. Black Lightning

Black Lightning was created to be the main African American superhero from DC Comics, and yet the character has been blocked from every opportunity of exposure outside comics: for Super Friends, they had to create "Black Vulcan", for Static Shock, they created "Soul Power", and he was notoriously absent in Justice League. He got some recent prominence in comics, but it has been fading since he quit the Justice League. And now, with Static as the new and improved electric black dude, BL is even less likely to get some spotlight.

7. The Penguin

This guy is probably the most recurring and well known of the list. Ask anybody who's not a comics book fan - the Penguin is a popular character. He even appeared more often in the 60s TV show than the Joker. However, in the current comics, he's a mere supporting character. What happened? In the 80s all the popular Batman characters got their postmodern makeover. The Joker, Two-face, Poison Ivy and Catwoman went from silly gimmicky villains to complex characters. The Penguin (like the Riddler) never made the leap. Even though, in theory, he always had what it takes to be a spectacular villain with magnetic personality: An epic histrionic disorder. As the creators of South Park how far can a character get with that (yes, I'm talking about Cartman).

6. The Question

Between Alan Moore's Rorschach and the Fox Mulder-esque treatment the Question got in Justice League Unlimited DC had the perfect formula to make Vic Sage a hit character. On the other hand they had Renee Montoya, a minor supporting character getting quite popular thanks to Gotham Central. What was done? They killed off Vic and turned Montoya into the Question. Did it work? If the purpose was trading the lead status for a supporting one, I guess it did. Montoya is a lovely member of Batman's supporting cast, but she doesn't have the twisted mind that is required to be the Question and now she can't even fall back to her police role.

5. Garth

Aqualad's main roles were sidekick of Aquaman and member of the Teen Titans, but what happens when he becomes too old for either? Literally, not much. Garth was killed two years ago and a new Aqualad has replaced him on both fronts.

4. Green Lantern John Stewart.

John was always meant to be supporting, he was the original "fill-in Green Lantern" to Hal Jordan; however, by 1992 he was popular enough to get his own series - which was cancelled for no good reason. Later, in 2001 he became the Green Lantern of the Justice League TV series; the idea was to bring diversity to the show to reach a wider audience. The comics followed the trend for a while, but despite all the other media popularity, when DC resurrected Jordan and brought back Guy Gardner, Stewart hit the bench once again.

3. Lobo

Lobo was created in 1983 and by the late 80s he was appearing at least once every single month. He got a number of miniseries and then, after R.E.B.E.L.S. was cancelled, his own title. However, with the change of century, Lobo started fading. He became supporting character of Young Justice, some appearances in 52, and then, back to supporting R.E.B.E.L.S.

2. Wally West

Like Iris West (his aunt) and Ralph Dibny, the Kid Flash is one of the earliest and most recurring supporting characters of the Flash. In the silver age, he was also a Teen Titan. When Barry Allen died, Wally became the Flash (the character got the regular series) and has been part of three incarnations of the Justice League. Recently, DC decided to resurrect Barry. Now, we have two Flashes, but we only get to see the adventures of the original.

1. Elongated Man & Wife

Before the mid 90s, one way or another, the Elongated Man always had a decent amount of appearances. About once every month. After that, his appearances became scarce. In 2004, writers Keith Giffen and J. M. DeMatteis found the perfect home for the Dibnys in Formerly Known as the Justice League. Then, Brad Meltzer decided Sue could be the perfect victym for a thriller (Identity Crisis) and further than that, her death unleashed years of megacrossover events for DC (not even the Death of Superman caused such an aftermath). Ralph died in one of those spins (52) and they ended becoming "detective ghosts". As tragic as those stories were, at least it can be said that they put the Dibnys front center; however, it has been over four years since the end of 52 and those ghosts have only made 3 very brief cameos. Ralph used to be one of the most recurring characters of Flash, along with Iris West and Kid Flash; he had ties strong ties to Batman, was a member of the classic silver age Justice League of America and the Justice League International. However, now it'd seem that DC goes out of its way to avoid featuring them (in Justice League: Generation Lost and Flashpoint, for instance). And it's not only in comics: Sue has never been featured in other media, Ralph's animation time doesn't add up to even 5 minutes, and he's notoriously absent from the DC Universe Online videogame and the DC Universe Classics action figures.

$#*! my Elongated Man says!

Over years of publication history, Ralph has said some cool or funny stuff; so, I decided to keep track of them in this post.

Ralph's first words, from the cover of Flash #112 (not particularly notorious, but the first, nonetheless):

"Flash thinks he's about to capture me -- but by stretching out my body -- can capture him!"

One of my favorite dialogues is from Justice League Unlimited episode "The Greatest Story Never Told".

Booster Gold: Is there a chance you could stop complaining for five minutes?
Elongated Man: Hey, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, my friend. But I'll tell you one thing: I wouldn't help those ingrates now if they begged me...
Wonder Woman: We need you.
Booster Gold: It's about time.
Wonder Woman: Not you. Him.
Elongated Man: Squeaky wheel.
Skeets: Maybe they needed a vase.

Detective Comics #430

When Batman shows up, crooks quake! When I show up, they panic!

 Realworlds JLA:

Girl playing Wonder Woman: Why do you [Superman] put up with him?

Kid playing Elongated Man (proudly): Because I provide lighthearted comic relief.

 

 From Identity Crisis #1:

“But that’s why ice cream stores don’t just sell chocolate and vanilla. Every once in awhile, someone walks in and orders butter pecan.   

She’s met everyone. Batman, Flash, Arthur, Hal – she’s seen Hawkman with the hairy chest thing going.  C’mon, she’s looked directly into Superman’s melt-your heart baby blues–”   

And she STILL chose me”

Formerly Known as the Justice League #2:

L-Ron: Humans a species can stretch.

Elongated Man: Of course not. It just so happens that I drink from an elixir made from the essence of a rare tropical fruit and -- That sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?

L-Ron: Only if one thinks about it, sir.

Formerly Known as the Justice League #6:

Sue: [...] Well, I've got a newsflash for you, Batman! Muscleheads in funny costumes are a dime a dozen! We don' need your help!

Batman:   Living with Ralph is really getting to you, isn't it?

 Sue: Ralph! Batman just insulted you!

Elongated Man: I'll add him to the list!

Plastic Man: So, you're telling me you've never once turned into a fire hydrant?

Elongated Man: A fire Hydrant? With G'nort around?!

Plastic Man: Well, then, how about a car or a lawn chair or—

Elongated Man: Having a litle identity crisis, are we? I know this fantastic therapist on the Upper West Side who—

Flash: Mary Marvel?! He got beaten up by a girl?! BWAH, HA, HAAAA!

Elongated Man: What did you just say?

Flash: Uh-- "Bwah-ha-ha?

Elongated Man: How woefully passe.

Formerly Known as the Justice League #1:
Y'know, at some point I was so desperate, I came close to joining the new Doom Patrol!

$#*! my Susan says!

Formerly Known as the Justice League #1:

Sue: After he forum this site, I didn’t see him for a month.

Maxwell Lord: A mixed blessing, I assume.

Sue: I love him. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

$#*! people say about the Elongated Man!

I've noticed that these words from Ralph's first solo adventure (Detective Comics #327) have captured the attention of some hardcore Elongated Man fans. It's not surprising, they are kinda catchy:

Some crook: An ear -- In the fireplace!

They should use them in the next animated adaptation of Ralph!

Brad Meltzer on Elongated Man (courtesy of Wizard Magazine):  

"So underestimated, it's not even funny.  I'll go on record and say it:  I do not think Plastic Man should have ever been in the Justice League [...] people think [that] they're interchangeable, but they're not.  Ralph [Dibny] isn't this comedic character—he's a detective second only to Batman.  And he and [wife] Sue make on of the best teams since Batman and Robin pulled out their magnifying glasses."

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I'll keep adding more quotes as I find them. If you find some material that should be included, please mention it on the comments section of this post (you'll be properly credited).

Squeaky wheel: Elongated Man in Justice League Unlimited

For an early silver ager featured in the companies flagship title (Detective Comics, mainly during most of the 60s), the Elongated Man has a terrible record in other media: not a single TV, radio or movie appearance during the 20th century! His first guest star role came with Justice League Unlimited, a popular series produced by Bruce W. Timm and the late and great Dwayne McDuffie, that featured a version of the League with 52 members operating from a satellite Watchtower. Ralph guest starred in:

• The Greatest Story Never Told
• The Ties That Bind
• Clash 

He also made several non speaking cameos:

• Initiation
• This Little Piggy
• Dark Heart
• The Once and Future Thing Part One: Weird Western Tales
• Flashpoint
• Shadow Of the Hawk
• The Great Brain Robbery
• Destroyer

Ralph's voice was done by non other than one Jeremy Piven. And it suits him greatly. However, his speaking scenes barely amount to a bit more than 3 minutes. Luckily for fans, there's plenty of non-speaking cameos (so many that it seems unbelievable that he only spoke 3 min.). One of the most interesting ones has him fighting Khunds with Hawkgirl in Shadow of the Hawk. I loved the way his powers look in action.

I can't help but wonder how come Mr. Piven bothered to participate in such a small role. I'm glad he did, though. The portrayal was very proper: he's a funny guy, but closer to Jerry Seinfeld than Jerry Lewis. I love that at least once he gets to save the day and I think it was funny that it was one of the biggest threats the Justice League ever faced (Mordru the Merciless, an evil wizard from the 30th Century) and that we still don't get to see exactly what he did.

Ralph's design for Justice League Unlimited.

I must confess that I don't have a favorite Elongated Man costume (there are four in the comics), but Bruce Timm's design comes really close to that. I suspect it has a lot of influence from Mr. Fantastic. I like that the purple and white border is not at the middle - that always looked weird in the comics for me, the collar was really needed, and I like what was done with the black, specially around the logo. However, I prefer the logo he used during the JLE years. He's the thinest and one of the tallest members of the league (the rest of the male characters have ridiculously enormous backs, chests and shoulders), which suits him well.

The powers look fantastic with that design and animation; very neat. Too bad there was no scene to showcase him fast stretching (he's supposed to be able to do it at "rocket speed", according to Flash #119) or making giant fists.

We don't get to learn much about his background in this version of the DC Universe; however, he mentions that he's mainly a detective, and he's just called Ralph by his co-workers, which means that this animated version doesn't use a secret identity either. He's seen talking or collaborating with characters he usually associated with in the comics, specially in the last two decades: Batman, Flash, Metamorpho, Fire and Booster Gold. He also mentions that he has been around longer than the Flash; now, since this cartoon is in the same continuity of Superman: The Animated Series, it means that he started working as a ductile detective some time before the Speed Demons episode, most likely, during the first season of that series.


The sad part is that, in this series, there's no nose twitching and we don't get to see him solve a mystery. I love that series, but I wish they could have had episodes featuring the Green Arrow, Atom, Hawkman, Black Canary, Elongated Man, Zatanna and Firestorm before making the change from Justice League to Justice League Unlimited.

A great thing about this appearances is that it also got him an action figure. The made him with the enormous chest that characterizes other characters in the series, but I still think it's fantastic. Mattel (which still has to get cracking with the long over due DC Universe Classics Ralph figures!) has also made a variant with the red uniform from the late 60s and 70s.

"The squeaky wheel gets the grease, my friend". As you can see from the video I posted at the top, that's a line from the show. I think Elongated Man's fans should go by that motto to get DC and Warner to do stuff with him.