Ralph Dibny Presents: Freakazoid!

Image by Phil Crash Murphy

For the foreseeable future, Freakazoid! seems basically an extinguished property. Nobody has heard anything about a revival series (who wouldn't love to see Weird Al involved in the project, huh?), or even a comic book adaptation. So, I started daydreaming about how would it look in the solicitations articles with really cool writers and artists, I wrote down the whole thing, and now humbly present the result to you, my dear audience (yeah, I'm talking to both of you). 

In order to take the series forward and add something new, I set the fake series in the DC Universe and explored events right after "The Chip" (the origin story of Freakazoid!) and between other actual stories of the show, in order to get a taste of the early days of Freakazoid!, the origin of several villains and team-up with DC characters. There is a lot of that Spider-Man / Archie vibe (i.e., lots of high school stuff) from the early Brice Timm concepts and the first episode. Things are surreal, but not enough to keep Freakazoid apart from the DC Universe, so expect interesting guest stars...

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #1
On sale MAY 12 • Issue #2 on sale MAY 26 • 40 pg (#1), 44 pg (#2), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN, PAUL DINI, TOM RUEGGER and PAUL RUGG art by BRUCE TIMM and KEVIN MAGUIRE, cover by BRUCE TIMM and ALEX ROSS.

I did this image, (totally ripping of Alex Ross).

Teenager Dexter Douglas wakes up to discover that everybody in Washington is talking about the cool new hero that caused the fall of the Apex Company (Cadmus' main supplier). He wants nothing to do with him, but he changes his mind when he discovers that his biology teacher is planning to turn all the Harry Connick Jr. High School students into lobe-mutants like him.

Meanwhile, in the backup feature, Lord Bravery is trying to make a name for himself as London's new superhero protector. He captures a bank robbery; however, surrounded by inept witnesses, he has a really hard time trying to prove to the police that he captured the right thief, who shamelessly denies any involvement.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #2
On sale MAY 26, 32 pg (#2), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN, PAUL DINI, TOM RUEGGER and PAUL RUGG art by KEVIN MAGUIRE.

The Lobe is planning to use his army of teenage brain-zombies to take Washington, but before stopping him, Freakazoid! must escape the thread of the disgusting Booger Beast.

Meanwhile, in the backup feature, the Huntsman has gathered all the necessary information to take down Armondo Guitierrez, the corrupt CEO of the Apex Company. So, he joins forces with the Flash, Green Arrow, Blue Beetle, Black Ca-- Nope, some new superhero already beat them to it. Darn the Luck, darn, darn, darn!

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #3
On sale JUL 18, 32 pg (#2), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.

Freakazoid! has saved the Harry Connick Jr. High again. This time, from Cave Guy at the "Day Time Saving Party". Even though every girl is in love with him, he can't reveal them that he's actually Dexter Douglas, the geek none of them likes. So, it's time to help Dex to fit in, and nothing is more important that... Well, maybe only saving some bank hostages from Kid Carrion, the cowboy who can't die.

Meanwhile, in the backup feature, after 3 weeks of talking to bullies into leaving obese kids alone, The Fatman and Boy Blubber get a restraining order from the Peabody Elementary School.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #4
On sale JUN 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by PAUL DINI art by KEVIN MAGUIRE.

The Penguin goes to Washington to recruit Arms Akimbo, Babyface, Ma Murder and other generic mobster stereotypes for the Crime Guild of America, and we all know what that means: Batman team-up!!

Meanwhile, in the backup feature, Dexter brags to James and Leo (those are actual characters, I swear) that he's a close friend of Freakazoid. Next day, the entire Harry Connick Jr. High knows, so, best friends Betty and Vero-- I mean, Steff and Valerie start a war with each other in order to impress Dex.

SHADOW OF THE BAT #3
On sale JUN 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by PAUL DINI, art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.
Crossing over from DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID!, Freak! and Nightwing break into a Washington D.C. warehouse just in time to save Batman from a surreal gang organized in true Daffy Duck fashion: the Penguin! Arms Akimbo! The Ventriloquist and Scarface! The Lobe! Babyface! Medulla and Oblongata! Ma Murder!Ugly Manheim! Alpha Dog! The White Rabbit! Kid Carrion! Rhino! Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum! The Chick! Ben Franklinstein! Tobias Whale!

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #5
On sale AUG 13, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.

After saving the White House, Freakazoid! is invited by president Obama to receive an award. At the ceremony, Freakazoid! notices that the Senate Majority Leader is a weird eyeball creature with goo instead of a body and a ridiculous haircut -- but everybody else sees him as a regular guy called Newt... what the hey is going on, and what's he got to do with the sinister looking guy turning squirrels into gold?

Meanwhile, in the backup feature, Batman has been kidnapped by the American Crime Syndicate and only The Huntsman can track him down.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #6
On sale SEP 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by PAUL DINI and PAUL RUGG art by DARWYN COOKE. 

Ultimate hunter Major Danger hears about the Freakazoid! and decides to hunt him, so, suck it, Kraven the Hunter! 

Meanwhile, at the backup feature, Lord Bravery is about to bust a smuggling operation of the Pearly Prince* --but so is the Beefeater.

*From Batman & Robin.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #7
On sale OCT 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by DUSTIN NGUYEN. 
Freakazoid! has to figure out how to teach Dexter Douglas to stand for himself against the Harry Connick Jr. High School's resident bully: Duncan Douglas (small world, eh?), but he can't really do that while being bullied himself by Alpha Dog the biggest, meanest crimelord of Washington.

Meanwhile, at the backup feature, the Lawn Gnomes have stolen the one true nose ring from a mad halfling.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #8
On sale NOV 01, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by ALAN BURNETT art by ADAM HUGHES.
"Candle Jack's Halloween Par--"

Steff and Val organize a Halloween party and Dex thought it would be a good idea to dress as Freakazoid! to impress them, the only problem is that when some idiot shows up disguised as Candle Ja--

Meanwhile, at the backup feature, Lord Bravery and his family are invited as guests at the Stokesey Castle, where, as he asures them, there are no ghosts...

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #9
On sale DEC 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.
"Merry Christmas, Freak!"
It's almost a year since Freakazoid! came to be, an what better present can Armondo sent him from prison than a surprise party with all his new friends: the Lobe, Candle Jack, Kid Carrion, Longhorn, Cobra Queen, Caveguy and Booger Beast!

Meanwhile, at the Backup feature, it's Christmas and the Lt. King is going to get the Huntsman the gift he deserves (although there might be some teasing before).

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #10
On sale JAN 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.
"Freakazoid Vs. -- Freakazoid?"
Eye of Newt has decided that the best way to get Freakazoid! out of his back is to frame him, so he hires Deadpan, the World's less expressive impersonator, to ruin his reputation. 

Meanwhile, at the Backup feature, the Lawn Gnomes go to Manhattan... if they can get pass the Brooklyn Bridge Troll.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #11
On sale FEB 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by TOM RUEGGER and PAUL RUGG art by KEVIN MAGUIRE.
"Freakazoid, the super villain"
When Freakazoid! becomes evil Sgt. Cosgrove is forced to apprehend him. Can Roddy and Steff break Cobra Queen's hypnosis on time? Plus, we learn that Cosgrove is actually Police Chief, but he likes to be called Sgt., for some reason. 

Meanwhile, at the backup feature, it's time to give sweet and innocent Toby Danger "the talk" (if you get what I mean).


DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #12
On sale MAR 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.
"It's tough to get a date with Dex"
Dex hit the jackpot when his math teacher forced Val to study with him every afternoon, and to make things more interesting, Longhorn is going to teach him how to get hard to play as he needs to excuse himself to go save the landmarks Washington D.C. 

Meanwhile, at the Backup feature, Fatman and Boy Blubber open a fat camp, a good idea, only all the kids are healthier than both of them...

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #13
On sale APR 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.
"Candle Jack Retur--"
Waylon Jeepers found a way to control Candle Jack withou--

Fanboy might have bitten more than he can chew when he decided to stalk the Legends who Lunch.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #14
On sale MAY 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and J. M. DEMATTEIS art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.
"Mystery of the missing Freak!"
When Freakazoid! disappears, only one man can help Sgt. Cosgrove and Roddy to find him: Ralph Dibny, the Elongated Man. However, not even the World's most famous detective can make things easier when most of the witnesses and suspects are clueless weirdos. 

Meanwhile, at the Backup feature, Lord Bravery sues a comic book writer who copyrighted his name and personality to sell toys.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #15
On sale JUL 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by ALAN BURNETT and TOM RUEGGER art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.
"Neutrino Man"
Mo-Ron returns. This time, he arrives at James and Leo's who try to disguise him as an exchange student. However, their fun won't last long since the Lobe wants him for his own sinister purposes. Guest starring: Pauly Shore, as the guy who dies after the credits introduce him... (I told you).

Meanwhile, at the Backup feature, after a month of undercover hard work the Huntsman is about to make his big bust (yeah, that's right, not gonna happen).

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #16
On sale JUN 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by TOM RUEGGER and PAUL RUGG art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.

"Franklinstain"
The Lobe and Eye-of-Newt team-up to create the worst political Frankenstein: Ben Franklinstain. 

Meanwhile, at the Backup feature, Mistress Sinistra has caught the Lawn Gnomes, but keeping them as servants might not be a good idea.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #17
On sale AUG 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.
"The Imp-ossible Dream"
Dex is tired of being targeted by bullies and things are even worse since the worst bully is his own brother, Duncan Douglas. Things are about to change now that he has Frkzd, his own interdimensional imp... Then again, who's going to save him from the imp... Duncan?

Meanwhile, at the Backup feature, the Huntsman finally arrives on time to beat criminals. There's no doubt, they are real criminals. Sure thing.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #18
On sale SEP 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.
"Beauty and Brains"
Nerdator is back, and this time he has a better target: hot nerds. 

Meanwhile, at the backup feature, Fanboy has a new victim: Lord Bravery.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #19
On sale OCT 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.
"Beauty and the Booger Beast"
Val can accept that Steff is now Freakazoid!'s girlfriend, but is she desperate enough to fall in love with her biggest admirer... the Booger Beast? 

Meanwhile, at the backup feature, Lord Bravery is finally invited to join the Justice League Europe, only one problem: he has to beat Beefeater! John Cleese's reaction: "Unbelievable!" 

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #20
On sale OCT 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.
"Beauty and the Booger Beast"
The fate of Ben Franklinstain has the nation divided, some people want him resting in peace again, some want him in jail and others want him to be the President. 

Meanwhile, at the backup feature, the Lawn Gnomes try to kidnap Zatanna's cat to get her to break their spell.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #21
On sale DEC 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and ALAN BURNETT art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.
"Beauty and the Booger Beast"
Guitierrez is back, and he has kidnapped Roddy to fix his web connection. So, Freakazoid! and the Huntsman must find him before he becomes a freakazoid! again!

Meanwhile, at the backup feature, Fatman and Boy Blubber get banned from KFC.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #22
On sale JAN 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by KEVIN MAGUIRE.

"Freakazoid! meets the Lawn Gnomes"
Candle Ja-- is after the Lawn Gnomes and only Freakazoid! can help them. 

Meanwhile, at the backup feature, the Douglas family goes camping and Duncan finds a green fat "big foot".

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #23
On sale JAN 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by PAUL DINI art by DARWYN COOKE.
"See No Invisivo"
Invisivo is super-charged and he's going after president Obama, so, Freakazoid! will stop him, if he can finish Professor's Beasthead's exam on time... and rescue Val from Booger Beast... and shake off Fanboy... and get Fatman out of a manhole... and try Mike's new papaya doughnut with Cosgrove... and -- oh, just forget about it, it's never gonna happen.

Meanwhile, at the backup feature, Lord Bravery has to prove to the HMRC that he doesn't make a profit as a superhero.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #24
On sale FEB 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by DUSTIN NGUYEN.
"And they Smell like Mothballs"
The Green Fog and the Brown Fog are back and smellier than ever, so Freakazoid! decided to reunite... THE LEGENDS!... Then again, setting octogenarians to fight might not be a smart idea.

Meanwhile, at the backup feature, the The Huntsman has received his first call from the Justice League Unlimited. Nope, wrong person. They meant to call the Huntress.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #25
On sale MAR 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by PAUL DINI and TOM RUEGGER art by BRUCE TIMM.
"Witch Girl, the Teenage Witch"

Witch Girl is back at the Harry Connick Jr. High School, the only problem is that nobody remembers her being an evil sorcerer from the 5th dimension. Nobody but Val. So it's up to her to prove it to the gang.

Meanwhile, at the Backup Feature, Professor Jones thinks the Old Whispering Lady stole his collection of pez dispensers, despite Officers Dan and Muhammad-Abdul knowing better, so it's up to Cosgrove to get to the bottom of this goofy dispute.

DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #26
On sale APR 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by PAUL DINI and JOHN P. MCCANN art by ADAM HUGHES.
"Freakazette"

With all the boys letting Bombshell go whenever she commits a crime, Washington needs a new type of hero: Freakazette. Wait... is she Steff... or Val? Special appearance by Foamy and Professor Heiney.

Meanwhile, at the Backup Feature, when Sandra Danger gets possesed by Vorn, the Unspeakable by mistake, the Vatican assigns its toughest agents to the case: the Nunchucks .
DC PRESENTS FREAKAZOID! #27
On sale MAY 12, 32 pg (#4), FC, $2.99 US
Written by JOHN P. MCCANN and PAUL RUGG art by HOWARD PORTER.
"Expendable People"

Art and characters created by lazymills1986.

Candle Jack... Deadpan... Kid Carrion... Ben Franklinstain... The superhero job is way too much for Freak. It's time to get a sidekick. So, Ingmar prepares trials for the most skilled people in sidekick biz: Fanboy, Deadpan, Arrowette, and Expendable Kid must compete with each other to apprehend the Spamming Baby Gang-man. 

Meanwhile, at the backup feature, the Lawn Gnomes team-up with Etrigan to bully Klarion the Witch Boy, if they can get past Teekl. 

Busterella strikes again!: Pokemon JLI

I found new fan art form favorite of this blog, Busterella, whose Dibny portraits always catch perfectly the true spirit of the couple. It's called "Superbuddies-Pokemon Rangers", check it out:

Top to bottom and left to right: Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, Sue and Ralph Dibny, Fire & Ice, Guy Gardner and Maxwell Lord. 

It's the second pic I see from a Deviant artist combining elements of JLI / Super Buddies with Pokemon Rangers (which, I suppose, is a later incarnation of the Pokemon thing). However, there's no actual connection between the the two of them and I'm still trying to find out why is this a thing. According to Busterella, Pokemon crossovers with anything are common. She describes is as "Silly scribble-y crossover tomfoolery".

The other one is even more eclectic, it throws Aladdin and a character from Batman: The Brave and the Bold into the mix (what, no fire?).

Ice, the Dibnys, Guy and Captain America, Flash and his wife, Linda Parker, Aladdin and Jasmine, and the Music Meister.
Art by Clazziquai. 

And this is just the tip of the iceberg, Busterella has impressive pics done with digital media. She's crazy-talented when it comes to coloring (you hear that, DC?). For more of her fantastic art, go to her Deviantart profile: http://busterella.deviantart.com/ . She's a talent to watch!

Ralph Dibny, the Elongated Man: Personality Profile

Here's my perception of Ralph's personality:

Vigilant	61%
Solitary	32%
Idiosyncratic	70%
Adventurous	77%
Mercurial	8%
Dramatic	21%
Self - Confident	79%
Sensitive	27%
Devoted	58%
Concientous	61%
Leisurely	58%
Aggressive	50%
Self - Sacrificing	22%

And here's why...

Like most of the characters in serial fiction, the Elongated Man's personality has suffered changes throughout time. As faithful as some can be, every writer has a different vision of the character. Even his fans have different perceptions of the ductile detective.

In his first six adventures, John Broome portrayed him as a superhero with an odd behavior. There wasn't much to his personality, only that he was a little more easy going that Flash (who was an easy going superhero himself). Neither of them gave the overly dramatic/heroic speeches that Batman or Superman use to give. Additionally, Ralph was eclectic and creative in his decisions. He didn't have a base operations, used his super powers to make a fortune, got married (which wasn't common for superheroes at the time) and gave up his secret identity.

Even though his dialogue is plain in these early appearances, his actions speak plenty for him. His temperament is established as primordially sanguine and secondarily phlegmatic. He's laid back and a great entertainer; he's rarely angered and always open minded and optimistic. His actions are bold and he is a success magnet: first, he arrives to Central City and, as a rookie, he overshadows the fastest man alive in his own game; he still becomes Flash's best friend; then, he becomes a showman and makes a fortune in a sec, retires, marries Sue Dearbon, a beautiful heiress, and starts to travel the World with her on a perpetual honeymoon. This extreme path of success follows them the rest of their adventures, throughout the 70s, 80s and 90s, they become intimate friends of the most powerful people in the DCU, he is awarded membership of it's most powerful superteam team (12th member and one of the longest staying) and he did all of that almost effortlessly and while having fun. Not to mention that she becomes a talented hacker, Bureau Chief of the Justice League Europe and a best selling mystery writer. It's a canon fact that Ralph Dibny takes the best in life and is very serious about enjoying every bit of it. However, he's very methodical and diligent.

During this period a mild enthusiasm for mysteries start.

Ralph begins to be portrayed as a detective in Flash #138, his 7th appearance.

After his 7th appearance, writer Gardner Fox took over and made him more eclectic, his enthusiasm for mysteries became love for them. He also became a bit of a laid back joker (nothing extraordinary), a media hound and a spoiling husband. He had a relaxed, "everything will work out" attitude since his first appearance, and it was only reinforced when his solo adventures started. He and his wife were modeled after Nick and Nora Charles, from The Thin Man film series. They would tease each other about their habits, but they respected and indulged each other's mild hedonism and had a drama-free marriage. This portrayal was kept during the 70s, in his Detective Comics and Justice League of America appearances.

Nora and Nick Charles, the main influence on the Dibnys.

The begining or Ralph's clowning.

During the 80s there was some exploration. When Batman retired from the JLA, writer Gerry Conway made Ralph the idea guy of the team; casually stating his deductions and suggesting plans of action. Meanwhile, Mike W. Barr proposed that his sense of humor was a defense mechanism to avoid thinking about the tragedy of the cases he often took. He also defined Ralph as a detective fiction expert, to the point that he was a World authority on Sherlock Holmes literature.

The Elongated Man meets his idol, the Great Detective.

In the late 80s, Gerard Jones, Mark Waid, J. M. DeMatteis and Keith Giffen accentuated him as a guy who loves attention, even if it takes slapstick humor and self deprecating jokes to get it. This is the way he remained during the 90s. In the early Justice League Europe stories, Giffen and DeMatteis had him as a witty guy who joked with his wife but also encouraged and appreciated her talent, they also explored his relationship with Wally West, the current Flash and the former sidekick of his best friend; when DeMatteis was replaced with Jones, the character development stopped and when Giffen left, he became an inept clown, by far, the worst and most destruct destructive portrayal of the character. My theory is that it ruined the character for other writers during the rest of the 90s.

Ralph portrayed as a really goofy character.

In 2003, Giffen and DeMatteis took away the slapstick and went back to witty humor with his wife, echoing their Thin Man influences.

His appearances in Justice League Unlimited was very similar to it.

Brad Meltzer made a serious and thoughtful sketch of Ralph as a person and husband in Identity Crisis and then, in 52, after the death of Sue, Mark Waid and Grant Morrison turned him into a more serious and detective. Both stories portrayed him as a really sharp detective, very similar to Sherlock Holmes in his method.

Ralph's portrayal in Identity Crisis #1.

Now, from what I perceive, fans of the Elongated Man share a common vision of the way he should be portrayed. We all seem to agree that, as Barr, Meltzer and Waid portrayed him, he's primordially a detective. I think that he should keep what I consider his two biggest influences Nick Charles and Sherlock Holmes. Since his first Detective Comics story, he became the type of sleuth that can make great deductions from observing details in scenes or people. Identity Crisis indicated that he's able to memorize all those details even under great stress. New stories should focus on this. Check it out, it can be really cool:

Despite his sanguine temperament, he's very methodical and diligent. He does stuff like memorizing details about people and scenes and he's rarely late or stressed by work, all trademarks of phlegmatic people. It wouldn't be a bad idea for the next writer to expand on his habits. I bet he dedicates part of every day to activities like practicing his memory skills, training his body, spending time with Sue, reading the news and, as Barr established, some detective fiction classics. Regarding his physical skills, the brightest observation I have ever heard from another fan is that he is likely to spend time every day on them. Training his body to get the most out of his super stretching: controlling mass, balance, shape, strength. Even his senses must be affected by this. Around the satellite era, he started to shapeshift to change his face, by the JLI era, he was able to create a bulldog head out of his hand.

There is also the matter of the extent of his super power. I has never been said, but the way he often made his hands huge and lifted men with each imply that he has super strength. Bigger hands don't have more mass, just the same mass in a bigger volume, which means less strength. An ability that has been mentioned but is not that famous is the speed of his stretching; some stories mention that he can reach dozens of feet within a fraction of a second, other show him using his knuckles or his chin as projectiles that knock out villains, which indicate an enormous speed and strength. Something that rare writers explore are the possibilities implied by stretching, like tuning his senses so that he could see, hear and smell beyond normal human capabilities. If he can stretch his chest and head cavities, he can basically produce any sound. He's also able to resist and absorb great impacts (he once stopped a truck). He has used his body as a rubber band (even serving as a bow for Green Arrow) and he can become thin as a sheet; in theory, this means that he can project himself into the air and then control his shape to navigate the wind (That's when he's not using his arms to move across the buildings like Spider-man).

When it comes to his sense of humor, consensus seems to indicate that it is a trademark that is should be kept. However, there are certain aspects from it that don't work. Here, Plastic Man is often used as a point of reference. He also became a big joker in the late 80s, only he was even bigger on slapstick; so it's commonly said that Ralph is like Jerry Seinfeld while Plas is more like Jerry Lewis (or Jim Carrey). Personally, given his profession, I think Ralph should have the observational humor of Seinfeld but with the quick wit of David Spade and maybe with the cultural references of Dennis Miller (EM strikes me as the kind of guy that pays a lot of attention to the news). Maybe a bit of Conan O'Brian's playfulnes wouldn't be so far from the Nick Charles mold. He's not the type that would make mean jokes about other people, but I can definitely can see him making "that's a shame" kind of comments about the goofiness of some of his friends.

I believe that a thoughtful portrayal that works expanding the trademarks that Gardner Fox, Mike Barr, Gerry Conway, Keith Giffen, J. M. DeMatteis, Brad Meltzer and Mark Waid left would make him a more solid DC character. Writers just need to use Ralph and Sue's rich profiles in classic detective fiction formulas (with the superhero twist, of course). They just need to do with him what TV has already done with characters like Nick Charles, Columbo, Jessica Fletcher, Poirot, Monk, Murdoch, Shawn Spencer or Patrick Jane. Cold open, crime scene investigation, a series of interviews revealing clues to the readers, intercalated comic relief shenanigans, reconstruction of events, climactic chase and epilogue or denuement (usually the regular characters solve their mild conflict of the day).